Inward First

Inward First

An observation as one who spends his days making disciples…One challenge in discipleship is that most adults have never been taught to pay attention to their inner life.

Whenever I am troubled in any way, the rush is to find external explanations for what I am experiencing. In that sense, the cause of my discomfort is always outside of me – someone or something else has caused it. In my mind, I tell myself that if I could just change that circumstance, go to a different place, surround myself with different people, all would be great. That’s what I tell myself, but I know all along that it’s not actually true.  The truth is actually much closer to me than I’d like to admit.

There’s an old adage which says, “wherever you go, you are there.” Do you remember that one? Sobering words, right?

 
In the rush to find an external cause for our every discomfort or misadventure, we forfeit the golden opportunity to look inward. Though often avoided, looking inward is an incredibly powerful practice that we must discover or rediscover if we are ever to mature spiritually and emotionally. Learning to look inward and inward first, is an essential part of living a “whole and holy” life.

As a pastor and leader, this is especially true for me. Tending to my inner life is a 24/7 gig and it’s not easy at all. Yet, I lean into this practice because of the reality that who we are internally will eventually show up externally. Rather than being paralyzed by the fear of how your inner brokenness might eventually show up and wreak havoc on your life and the life of those around you, why not get started on the work of becoming aware of your inner life and working to transform it? As you getting started in this work, may I suggest a resource?

 

The single best modern resource that I’ve come across for practice of inner transformation is a book called The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Pete Scazzero. Helping leaders to see a connection between their emotional health and spiritual health is a part of Pete’s life work, which that you can learn more about at EmotionallyHealthy.Org. The Emotionally Healthy Leader is an incredible resource that helps the reader pay attention to their heart, their past, their motivations, and many other elements of the inner life. You’ll explore topics like sabbath, leadership shadows, marriage and singleness, boundaries, and more. I highly recommend this book and the workbook that goes with it!

Regardless of your career or stage of life, your inner life matters. You’re never too late or too early to begin this work. Today is a good day to get started!

Questions:

  1. What do you think keeps most adults from doing that needed inner work? 
  2. Over the years, have you learned any helpful strategies for looking inward? 
Read More

2 Plants

2 Plants

Now & Later

2 potted plants.

One is in full bloom. The other is only recently planted.

Many people will extol the beauty of one and denigrate the other. Other people will see that they’re both beautiful in their own way. They’re just in very different stages of growth.

I look at the one on the left and imagine that, at some point, it looked like the one on the right. I look at the one on the right and smile because with patience and care, it can one day bloom as fully as the one on the left. 

Think about your life. Think about the lives of those around you. Think about the institutions and organizations that you belong to. Are they the plant on the left or the one on the right? Or both?

What’s true about these two plants is true of much of life. At our best, we see that. We get that…and we experience the richness of life because of it! 

Grace & Peace!

Read More

Sin & Broken Hearts

Sin & Broken Hearts
A few years ago, I recall counseling a young couple through a very difficult situation that left one of them deeply heartbroken and the other, in many ways, crippled by their own actions. Journeying with them caused me think differently about the effects of sin. In churches, especially American evangelical churches, our general understanding of sin is individual and personal – one person’s actions that impact their relationship with God. More and more, I’m realizing that sin is also a communal thing. When one sins, it affects everyone in significant ways. Although significant, the effects are not always immediately visible. Because of that, we maintain that sin is between God and the individual. That is an insufficient understanding of sin. Sin kills. Sin destroys community and relationship. Sin leaves behind a trail of broken hearts. Sin gets in the way of God’s will being lived out in us and through us.
 
God. others. self. community. Can you see how many are affected by the sins of even one?
 There is good news, though. Just as so many and so much can be affected by the sins of just one, there is redemption available to many that is attributable to one. It was the Apostle Paul who wrote that God’s grace and the gift came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, and overflows to many. (Romans 5:15)
 
So what am I saying? I’m suggesting, at once, at least two things:
  1. Sin is debilitating and needs to be taken much more seriously because of the havoc that it wreaks. Minimizing it is like playing with fire.
  2. We need not feel hopeless about sin, because redemption is available in Jesus Christ.
May God bring both of these truths to our remembrance daily and use them to shape us into his likeness!
Read More

10 Thoughts on #RachelDolezal

10 Thoughts on #RachelDolezal
I’m a learner at heart. I love searching for understanding and clarity, regardless of what the subject or circumstance is. I’m also a teacher. I try my best to take whatever I’ve learned and pass that on to others for our mutual benefit. Each One, Teach One. That being so, I offer these thoughts to the public conversation related to Rachel Dolezal. Honestly, my thoughts have less to do with Ms. Dolezal and more to do with the broader spheres of race, ethnicity, and culture. Check them out and let me know what you think!
  1. This is a strange, complex story. (no explanation needed)
  2. The NAACP, since its inception in the early 1900’s, has always been a multicultural organization, composed of people of diverse backgrounds. As they reminded us via Fridays’ Statement, “One’s racial identity is not a qualifying criteria or disqualifying standard for NAACP leadership.” One does not need to be black to be a member or a leader in the NAACP.
  3. Ms. Dolezal did not have to be black to lead this NAACP chapter, teach Africana Studies, attend Howard University, marry a black man, etc. Her reasons seem to extend beyond the community that she served and into some deep personal issues with her own family.
  4. There appears to be a series of other substantial lies by Ms. Dolezal that further complicate this story and point to larger issues of integrity for her.
  5. Rachel Dolezal, like all of us, has a past that helps to shape/influence her present actions. I do not judge her for whatever past pain she has experienced. In fact, I pray that she can begin to address that pain, as opposed to continuing to live into what appears to be a completely false identity.
  6. Race is a social construct with very little biological basis for the way that race has been handled, especially in the U.S. Acknowledging that is very different from saying race and racial hierarchies don’t exist. It’s also very different from asserting that race is so fluid that it can be picked up and laid down whenever one wants to. In America, there is a very real historical and cultural legacy that has existed and still exists today as a result of the social construct that is race. As a dark-skinned black man, I don’t have the option of moving to another city and beginning again as a white man.  The fact that Rachel Dolezal could live for 10 years as a black woman, moving in and out of countless spaces representing herself that way, is the very essence of privilege.
  7. Historically, being Black was the designation reserved for anyone with even one drop of African blood in them. Are we now to believe that blackness is assigned to anyone who appreciates or appropriates something related to African-American culture? Does it work that way with all racial identification?
  8. There are countless people in our society who are born into one ethnic group, but for any number of reasons, identify more closely with or develop a great appreciation for another group. There may be some of that at play here, but Rachel Dolezal takes it to a different, and arguably more dishonest level, by actually pretending that she was Black.
  9. We need a better understanding of the ways that race has impacted and continues to impact our society. The push that I’ve heard from many people to “stop talking about race” seems ridiculous because it has not been paired with any attempt to tear down the system of racial hierarchy that still clearly exists in this country. The idea that talking about race is what keeps racism going is outrageous.
  10. African-American Studies and Africana Studies programs should be much more than dumping grounds for athletes in our colleges and universities. Our community benefits when we’re better educated about our history and culture, as well as the dynamics of race, gender, class, etc. In having a number of conversations over the last few weeks, be it talking about Bruce (Caitlyn) Jenner or Rachel Dolezal, I’ve been reminded that there is still much misunderstanding in our community, even among college-educated friends. It appears there is still a huge void that a refocused and repurposed NAACP and organizations like it could help fill.

So, those are some of my thoughts. There’s always more to learn and I hope you’re on the journey with me. Drop me a comment below…I’ d love to hear some of your thoughts. 

Grace & Peace!

Blackness

Read More

#FatherFactor

#FatherFactor

Last year, I was contacted by a guy named Andy from the Pacific Northwest and asked if I’d be interested in contributing to a book that he was working on.  The book he described was focused on the two topics that I write/think most frequently about, faith and fatherhood.  After a quick google search, I realized that Andy was not a hacker or a serial killer, that he had an epic beard, and that this was a real book project.  Of course I had to be a part of it!

I’m happy to announce that the project is done and that on October 14, 2014, Father Factor: American Christian Men on Faith and Fatherhood is set to be released!!!

father_factor_cover

 

The Father Factor project is part of the I SPEAK FOR MYSELF book series, published in partnership with White Cloud Press.  The book explores the intersection between faith and fatherhood, which is core to who I am. The book contains forty essays by forty men all under the age of forty. We represent a wide variety of Christian faith perspectives: Methodist, Presbyterian, Quaker, Mennonite, Pentecostal, Baptist, Church of God, United Church of Christ—and a whole host of different ethnicities: Korean, Mexican, Pacific Islander, Egyptian, Chinese, African American, and Caucasian. We represent all sorts of professions – ministers, professors, a real estate agent, an actor, nonprofit leaders, stay-at-home dads, and a call center representative. We can be found in cities as far apart as Honolulu, Hawaii and Paris, France, and many all points in between. Each of us shares a compelling story about faith and fatherhood…The finished work is amazing!!!

I’d highly recommend the book for your personal library and for small group discussions.  The website is here…Take a look around and take advantage of a great discounted price between now and October 13th!

Thanks to everyone who helped bring this project into being, and I look forward to all of you engaging on some level with the book!

Grace & Peace!!!

Read More