Inward First

Inward First

An observation as one who spends his days making disciples…One challenge in discipleship is that most adults have never been taught to pay attention to their inner life.

Whenever I am troubled in any way, the rush is to find external explanations for what I am experiencing. In that sense, the cause of my discomfort is always outside of me – someone or something else has caused it. In my mind, I tell myself that if I could just change that circumstance, go to a different place, surround myself with different people, all would be great. That’s what I tell myself, but I know all along that it’s not actually true.  The truth is actually much closer to me than I’d like to admit.

There’s an old adage which says, “wherever you go, you are there.” Do you remember that one? Sobering words, right?

 
In the rush to find an external cause for our every discomfort or misadventure, we forfeit the golden opportunity to look inward. Though often avoided, looking inward is an incredibly powerful practice that we must discover or rediscover if we are ever to mature spiritually and emotionally. Learning to look inward and inward first, is an essential part of living a “whole and holy” life.

As a pastor and leader, this is especially true for me. Tending to my inner life is a 24/7 gig and it’s not easy at all. Yet, I lean into this practice because of the reality that who we are internally will eventually show up externally. Rather than being paralyzed by the fear of how your inner brokenness might eventually show up and wreak havoc on your life and the life of those around you, why not get started on the work of becoming aware of your inner life and working to transform it? As you getting started in this work, may I suggest a resource?

 

The single best modern resource that I’ve come across for practice of inner transformation is a book called The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Pete Scazzero. Helping leaders to see a connection between their emotional health and spiritual health is a part of Pete’s life work, which that you can learn more about at EmotionallyHealthy.Org. The Emotionally Healthy Leader is an incredible resource that helps the reader pay attention to their heart, their past, their motivations, and many other elements of the inner life. You’ll explore topics like sabbath, leadership shadows, marriage and singleness, boundaries, and more. I highly recommend this book and the workbook that goes with it!

Regardless of your career or stage of life, your inner life matters. You’re never too late or too early to begin this work. Today is a good day to get started!

Questions:

  1. What do you think keeps most adults from doing that needed inner work? 
  2. Over the years, have you learned any helpful strategies for looking inward? 
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Got Change?

Got Change?
IMG_9831

(Photo Credit: “Babies of the Revolution” by Patience Zalanga. Accessed by Facebook on Nov. 17, 2015.)

 

This week in Minneapolis has been a very difficult one. As a metro area, we have all experienced a trauma. I say all emphatically because we often lose sight of the connectedness of our lives. It isn’t always obvious, but when there is violence or hurt in the inner city, it impacts those who call the suburbs or rural areas home. When violence hits those other areas, it impacts lives in the inner city. This is true because we are not as divided as it can seem. Despite our best intentions to separate ourselves – by location, culture, or preference – our lives are, ultimately, deeply interrelated. Despite what America’s racist history or our current turmoil might suggest, we must remember that we are, ultimately, “tied together in a single garment of destiny.”

Those last few words are not my own. They belong to someone who lived and served faithfully at a time when nearly every indicator suggested that hate, not love, was the name of the game. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. lived and served at a time when both de jure and de facto law served to keep Black and poor people oppressed and separated from the rest of society. It would have been easy to fall into hopelessness, despair, or lawlessness, yet, Dr. King and others chose a different path and changed the course of world history.
 
In light of recent events in America and as we search for meaningful ways to affect change in my own city, I think we would be wise to look back to the philosophies and actions of the movement that Dr. King led. These campaigns impacted nearly every facet of American society and that effect reverberated around the globe. What they did matters. How and why they did it mattered just as much.  Below are some of the core philosophies of Dr. King’s nonviolent movement that we should not ignore in contemporary social movements:
 

 
SIX STEPS OF NONVIOLENT SOCIAL CHANGE
 
The Six Steps for Nonviolent Social Change are based on Dr. King’s nonviolent campaigns and teachings that emphasize love in action. Dr. King’s philosophy of nonviolence, as reviewed in the Six Principles of Nonviolence, guide these steps for social and interpersonal change.
  1. INFORMATION GATHERING: To understand and articulate an issue, problem or injustice facing a person, community, or institution you must do research. You must investigate and gather all vital information from all sides of the argument or issue so as to increase your understanding of the problem. You must become an expert on your opponent’s position.
  2. EDUCATION: It is essential to inform others, including your opposition, about your issue. This minimizes misunderstandings and gains you support and sympathy.
  3. PERSONAL COMMITMENT: Daily check and affirm your faith in the philosophy and methods of nonviolence. Eliminate hidden motives and prepare yourself to accept suffering, if necessary, in your work for justice.
  4. DISCUSSION/NEGOTIATION: Using grace, humor and intelligence, confront the other party with a list of injustices and a plan for addressing and resolving these injustices. Look for what is positive in every action and statement the opposition makes. Do not seek to humiliate the opponent but to call forth the good in the opponent.
  5. DIRECT ACTION: These are actions taken when the opponent is unwilling to enter into, or remain in, discussion/negotiation. These actions impose a “creative tension” into the conflict, supplying moral pressure on your opponent to work with you in resolving the injustice.
  6. RECONCILIATION: Nonviolence seeks friendship and understanding with the opponent. Nonviolence does not seek to defeat the opponent. Nonviolence is directed against evil systems, forces, oppressive policies, unjust acts, but not against persons. Through reasoned compromise, both sides resolve the injustice with a plan of action. Each act of reconciliation is one step closer to the ‘Beloved Community.’
(Based on Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail” in Why We Can’t Wait, Penguin Books, 1963.)
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10 Thoughts on #RachelDolezal

10 Thoughts on #RachelDolezal
I’m a learner at heart. I love searching for understanding and clarity, regardless of what the subject or circumstance is. I’m also a teacher. I try my best to take whatever I’ve learned and pass that on to others for our mutual benefit. Each One, Teach One. That being so, I offer these thoughts to the public conversation related to Rachel Dolezal. Honestly, my thoughts have less to do with Ms. Dolezal and more to do with the broader spheres of race, ethnicity, and culture. Check them out and let me know what you think!
  1. This is a strange, complex story. (no explanation needed)
  2. The NAACP, since its inception in the early 1900’s, has always been a multicultural organization, composed of people of diverse backgrounds. As they reminded us via Fridays’ Statement, “One’s racial identity is not a qualifying criteria or disqualifying standard for NAACP leadership.” One does not need to be black to be a member or a leader in the NAACP.
  3. Ms. Dolezal did not have to be black to lead this NAACP chapter, teach Africana Studies, attend Howard University, marry a black man, etc. Her reasons seem to extend beyond the community that she served and into some deep personal issues with her own family.
  4. There appears to be a series of other substantial lies by Ms. Dolezal that further complicate this story and point to larger issues of integrity for her.
  5. Rachel Dolezal, like all of us, has a past that helps to shape/influence her present actions. I do not judge her for whatever past pain she has experienced. In fact, I pray that she can begin to address that pain, as opposed to continuing to live into what appears to be a completely false identity.
  6. Race is a social construct with very little biological basis for the way that race has been handled, especially in the U.S. Acknowledging that is very different from saying race and racial hierarchies don’t exist. It’s also very different from asserting that race is so fluid that it can be picked up and laid down whenever one wants to. In America, there is a very real historical and cultural legacy that has existed and still exists today as a result of the social construct that is race. As a dark-skinned black man, I don’t have the option of moving to another city and beginning again as a white man.  The fact that Rachel Dolezal could live for 10 years as a black woman, moving in and out of countless spaces representing herself that way, is the very essence of privilege.
  7. Historically, being Black was the designation reserved for anyone with even one drop of African blood in them. Are we now to believe that blackness is assigned to anyone who appreciates or appropriates something related to African-American culture? Does it work that way with all racial identification?
  8. There are countless people in our society who are born into one ethnic group, but for any number of reasons, identify more closely with or develop a great appreciation for another group. There may be some of that at play here, but Rachel Dolezal takes it to a different, and arguably more dishonest level, by actually pretending that she was Black.
  9. We need a better understanding of the ways that race has impacted and continues to impact our society. The push that I’ve heard from many people to “stop talking about race” seems ridiculous because it has not been paired with any attempt to tear down the system of racial hierarchy that still clearly exists in this country. The idea that talking about race is what keeps racism going is outrageous.
  10. African-American Studies and Africana Studies programs should be much more than dumping grounds for athletes in our colleges and universities. Our community benefits when we’re better educated about our history and culture, as well as the dynamics of race, gender, class, etc. In having a number of conversations over the last few weeks, be it talking about Bruce (Caitlyn) Jenner or Rachel Dolezal, I’ve been reminded that there is still much misunderstanding in our community, even among college-educated friends. It appears there is still a huge void that a refocused and repurposed NAACP and organizations like it could help fill.

So, those are some of my thoughts. There’s always more to learn and I hope you’re on the journey with me. Drop me a comment below…I’ d love to hear some of your thoughts. 

Grace & Peace!

Blackness

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2014. Elevate.

2014. Elevate.

As  2014 wakes up and stretches its limbs, I’m excited to share my vision for the year.  Unlike past years, it is not elaborate.  In fact, it’s a single word, ELEVATE, accompanied by a single image shown here:

Michael Jordan Playground…Pic Courtesy of TheShoeGame.Com

Michael Jordan Playground…Pic Courtesy of TheShoeGame.Com

For years, I’ve been a shrinker.  I’ve been overly concerned with the opinions of others.  In many cases, I would shrink to avoid the possibility of standing out or making someone else feel uncomfortable.  It ‘s exhausting.  So, I’ve decided that I won’t do it anymore.  In 2014, I plan to be more fully me.  I plan to give myself the same consideration that I give others.  I plan to pursue things that I’ve postponed due to fear or worse.
A few years ago, I stumbled across a piece that set me on this journey towards this new place.  I would often end my time with a group of young men in our youth group by having us read this aloud.  I thought it was impacting them.  In fact, it was impacting me, as well.

Here’s to 2014, friends!

Our Deepest Fear — Marianne Williamson

 Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

 

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It’s OK to Celebrate Dads (Part IV)

It’s OK to Celebrate Dads (Part IV)

A Generation of Fathers

I’m an 80’s kids.  The 80’s and 90’s, for a number of different reasons, seem to have been a turning point where fatherhood began to decline tremendously, especially in urban areas and communities of color.  The war on drugs, mass incarceration, even certain welfare reforms led to remarkable changes to the family structure, as more and more fathers found themselves either locked up and/or separated from their families.  I was one of countless young men who grew up without their dads, having to navigate those early years without the guiding hand of their father.  I fear that the negative effects of this won’t be fully understood for many decades to come!

Even with that being the case, I see a growing trend that gives me great hope.  Many young men who grew up without the strong hand of their fathers have grown up and are now making pledges to reverse this debilitating trend.  Nearly every one of my friends is a young, active, ambitious dad.  The others are young husbands with real dreams of someday becoming dads that are present, active, and involved.  We have ongoing conversations about raising our kids together, as an extended family.  We dream about our kids playing sports together and bringing championships to the city.  We mentor and counsel other teens and young adults, giving them a vision for the day when they will become husbands and fathers.  My friends and I are working to exponentially increase the number of good fathers.  We’re serious about legacy, not just for our families, but for so many others that cross our paths.  We really are working to raise up a generations of “good dudes,” as my buddy Jesse often says!

It’s Not About Me…It’s About You

I get teased from time to time about my passion for fathers.  Some wonder if I’m being a little self-serving. I’m a good sport about it…often it comes from one of my sisters and I give them that privilege of ragging on me! In the end, though, I remind them that what’s good for the father is, ultimately, good for the family. A good father is a blessing to his family, his community, his city.  My passion is to see my city saturated with good fathers, men who are present, active, engaged, and….celebrated! I think raising up good fathers is one of the secrets to transforming our communities!

So go for it…let’s do a better job of celebrating dads and watch what happens.  Maybe one day, the norm will be that children will be able to celebrate their dads like this young brother, Joseph, does in a poem called Words for My Father. You’ll find it at the end of this post.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it here now: Much of what we believe about God is impacted by what we saw in our earthly father.

May we build a generation  of fathers who will represent Our Father well!

 

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